From Karen L.

Michael told me to tell everyone that she went out fighting, kicking and trying to talk. He said she never wanted anyone to say "she lost her battle", because Alley believed that any battle has a chance of victory and with mets, it is a battle that cannot be won" Michael also said that all of us endure this disease until we cannot endure anymore. He said that if anyone would like to make any donation in Alley's name to donate to the BC Mets Crisi Fund. Michael is especially concerned for those on our list that need the basics of utilities, food and medicine. He said that Alley was blessed with not worrying about any of those things, but wants others to not have to do without.

**************************************************************************
...a dream Alley had:
<<I had the most wonderful dream. I was cured. I was running and realized I was running and turned to Michael and asked him if he noticed and he said he was waiting for me to notice. (Told you it was a dream. That's why it's stupid.)

Then, I had a cig! yes! I realized I couldn't smoke if I wanted to stay healthy so I told Michael I'd only smoke today and then I'd have to quit the next day. Michael just about fell on the floor laughing. He said I sure did want a cig bad to dream that one!>>

Alley is cured and running now and when she stops to rest she'll light up without worry. We'll be having that face-to-face we talked about, sharing a cup and a smoke......

pattyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (for you, {{{{{Alley Patricia}}}}}

*********************************************************************

from Alley about Karen L.:

There are so many bad things happening in this area. Today, a beautiful woman walked into my life and made the day so special and I forgot about the bad things while talking with her.

Karen thinks I write funny things and I mentioned to her that I
sometimes go overboard and hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings with my writings. It isn't my intention to ever hurt someone. I am on steroids daily and I type just as I talk so please, if I hurt you, forgive me, but do let me know in private so I can tell you I'm sorry. We get to know one another through emails. Meeting an online friend, LIVE, in person, is just wonderful. Real hugs are fantastic. It all began right here. It's so great to have this list.

******Misc Things Alley Posted to the List********

***** I'm Alley and cancer doesn't define me.

******I'm more of a gardenia shrub...short and fat, but smelling good after a soak in the tub.

***I thank all of you who gave me support. Strangers wrote to me. There are people lurking on this list who jump right in with support when it is needed in addition to those we all recognize immediately when they write. There is no better support than this list and we don't have to get dressed or brush our teeth.

Love to all of you, Alley

***I saw it about to come on. Grabbed my oxygen and cigs and went outside. First time outside in 11 days. Forget the guilt trip. It's also said that being overweight contributes to BC....never mind mets. Well, I was told this BC actually had been in me for 10 years. I subtracted 10 years and found that was when I was a size 6, dancing all the time, swimming, very healthy...and I still got BC. I'm just going to ignore all of these latest discoveries. The one about less fat has been on TV several times.

WE ALREADY have mets. Eat and enjoy your ice cream and don't feel guilty or think you brought mets on yourself.  My onc told me to do what I want and not to worry about what will happen 20 years down the road. Yeah, he said 20 years and I could have kissed and hugged him for that but I knew he didn't really mean 20 years. He was just trying to tell me to enjoy life.

Alley

" Children see things simply. They know of cancer but they don't understand cancer. When she asked me if I'm going to die, I told her - not now. That was all she needed to know.

We never know if a treatment will halt the progression of cancer but we keep trying another treatment and hoping that will work. Some get a bit more time and others get a lot more time. Having a treatment work for six months is not bad. You might get lots more time with your next treatment.

What do you call it when you're told you will die but you're already terminal? The end of terminal? Terminal terminal? Terminal to the ninth degree?

I don't like living with this and don't consider this quality of life. I was okay w/the w/c and sitting all day at the desk but I'm not okay w/waking up with these choking moments. It's very scary and hurts a lot. I find myself bubbling w/snot. I am really enough to gag a maggot. I gasp for air and grab the face mask for more oxygen. I can't seem to get enough air in when these choking, coughing spasms occur.

I so appreciate the many private messages I've received in addition to the public messages. So many have made suggestions to me to prolong my life. I don't want to do that. My onc said anymore chemo will kill me. I believe him. Dr Vogel's nurse told my husband that I am too far gone to be helped. Vogel looked at my onc's notes and my tests and films. There's nothing left for me. I'm either going to die from a major heart problem or cancer. I hope it's the one that hurts the less. I'm not afraid to die. I used to be. Not now.

 Everyone is so shocked I'm not dead. It's so unreal
hearing people talk about me and how I was expected to die. Nice to still be here. Not nice to deal with CHF. Nice to know there's no one in my life that is pissed at me.

I dismissed one nurse from my care. She wore a skirt two sizes too small that came up to her crotch when she sat and she sat w/her legs open while here. She asked if I needed my b/p checked and I replied that I guessed not. I mean, if she's going to ask if I want it, do I need it? Then, she turned to face my husband and asked what she could do for him. I closed my
eyes and pretended I was asleep while she talked to Michael and I knew she was a vulture waiting for the carcass to fully croak so she could attack the widower. She said she should go but she stayed. Later, she again mentioned she really should go but continued to stay. Michael said she had a pig face. The ho is no longer on the team and shant be returning to my address.  wait 'til I'm gone before picking through with
what's left.

I don't know when I'll feel like answering every email I've received. I do appreciate all of you that have written and feel so fortunate to have so many friends. Love you all, Alley

 I really like being with hospice. I only have the nurse coming once each week because we just don't need her right now. I associated hospice with death because so many on the list have gone to hospice and died so quickly. It isn't hospice. It's just that some went to hospice at the very end. That could have happened with me, too, and then all of you would have thought I waited too long. What happened with me is that I just took a
totally unexpected turn for worse. It wasn't a gradual thing. If I was that near death, I certainly didn't know.

We have no idea of how much time I have before my departure but at this moment, we don't think it is anytime soon. I could have a heart attack and go at any time but so could any of you that aren't with hospice. Everyone says the cancer will not kill me. It will be a pulmonary event, most likely. I am no longer having the coughing spasms and gasping for air as long as I take my oxydose. That's very good. That scared the pee out of me and I didn't want to be here but I don't feel that way now. I'm quite content. I do have a DNR because I don't want my ribs cracked while someone tries to save me and end up on a respirator for the rest of my life.

Thanks to you who have prayed for me. I think I've gotten a miracle just because I'm still here, out of bed, bathing myself, using the real toilet, eating, walking and a lot of things I was told wouldn't happen.

Love to all of you,
Alley

I had never been able to paint a mental picture of cancer until recently. I was in the chemo room and the lady said she had Pac Man gobble up the cells.

 I mostly thank God for what I've been given in my lifetime. This Sat., I'm going to beg for a cure and if we can't have that, then NED for many, many, many years - long enough for me to see
gr-gr-grandbabies. I had always planned to live to be 100 years and I'm not going to change my plans. I'll leave the change of plans in His hands. Heaven is to be wonderful but I don't see any of us in a hurry to get there. I'm willing to wait.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001--at 25 years old. Went through 6 months of adjuvant chemo and was clear for a year after that before they found metastatic breast cancer in my liver. Diagnosed with liver mets October 2003
***************************************************
I have slowly fallen into the trap of allowing myself to be defined by the cancer and treatment thereof. It didn't happen right away. I'm 29 years old and have been going in for weekly chemo for almost 2 years (as of this September--I pray I make it past 30).

I began to think of all the activities that have dropped from my life as a result of the cancer. I rarely get out. I am easily winded and very weak. I don't visit with friends. I try to make it in to work, but miss several days most weeks. When I do make it in, I usually feel pretty bad. I've even stopped writing for the most part--and I've always written. My biggest dream was one day to be able to make a living off of my writing, either fiction or travel essays (I also dreamed of traveling to out of the way places like the Namib desert in Africa). I've read that chemo brain affects the portion of the mind that controls spatial perception and verbal abilities. Words. Those things I used to thrive on, those things I thought ran through my veins--I've lost a lot of them. I often can't recall a word, a word I should know, and it is sheer frustration.

When I sit down to write an essay, cancer/chemo is all that flows out of me--because my life is defined/controlled by the treatments, the cancer, the way it makes me feel and what I try to do to alleviate the pain, feel better, make it to the next day. And I got tired of that, so I stopped writing essays.

I think education is important, and so many people are absolutely ignorant about metastatic cancer, stage 4, and what it entails. I was--before it hit me. People still think the chemo will get it and life will go on--they do not understand the concept of an illness that you must combat for the rest of your life--which is usually greatly shortened. A chronic, incurable disease.
We don't know the future and anything can happen at any time, but living with metastatic cancer poses such unique difficulties--piles an insane amount of stress on one's body, spirit, emotions--how do people who have lived longer-term with this disease manage it?

After two years I am beat! My body feels wrecked, my emotions are a mess--the cancer continues to grow in spite of the treatments that I cycle through way too quickly.

Some days I wonder if I'll make it to September. When things go downhill--I know it will happen quickly.


And so, like many of you, I live with death peering in at me. At night I can almost see him there, sitting on the other side of a thin pane of glass--separated by time, but how much?

*******************************************************************

My cancer is so aggressive I am very frightened
that I may only have a few months left to live.

Each new chemo I do lasts about two months (as far as being effective) before the liver mets progresses again. I just wonder how long do I have left if that proves to be the rule for me and my cancer?

I think that's the worst part of starting a new chemo...the unknown quality. After a month or so on one chemo you get lulled into this sense of familiarity--which breeds a weird sort of comfort rather than contempt.

I'm just really tired. When does it stop?

Kristi in Little Rock

**************************************************************************

It is extremely irritating to be "blamed" for causing your own cancer by friends and the media. Friends have an excuse -- it makes them feel less vulnerable if they think there is a magic formula for keeping cancer away. The media has no such excuse. The continual stories on how curable breast cancer is, the emphasis on risk factors, etc., run the risk of making people like me less aware of the danger rather than more aware. In my case, I rarely read past the risk factors because I thought I was pretty safe. I was (emphasis on WAS!) slender, ate a low fat diet by choice, didn't smoke or drink, started having kids young and breastfed them for two years each, had absolutely no family history of any cancers -- yet here I am. As one of my docs said, "Birds fly overhead all the time, and sometimes the poop falls on you."

Anne

*****From: Anne Henderson Date: Sun Mar 20 2005

 the rainbow bridge poem. It's not really a poem, and there are several versions out there, but this is the most common one:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

(From a Friend of Anne's)

Anne, passed away last night. Several months ago she asked me to let all her friends and contacts know when this happens. She was a wonderful person and I am honored to have known and loved this wonderful woman and was with her and her family when she passed away. If anyone has anything they would like to share , please email me at BECCASMERE@HOTMAIL.COM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Name: Anne Henderson  Virginia suburbs of DC

Dx Stage 2B Feb. 2002. My first sign of a problem was redness and swelling of my right breast, but the final dx was not IBC.
Tumor size: 3x1.5x2 cm, multifocal and extensive DCIS, comedo type with lobular extension, multifocal IDC, high grade. Vascular/lymphatic invasion with tumor in dermis of nipple, 14/17 axiallary nodes positive, ER+, PR+, Her2-. Treatment: right mastectomy, CAF, radiation, arimidex

Dx Stage IV: July 2004. My opposite arm became quite swollen. My mammo was clear. No rise in tumor markers. PET and bone scans showed mets to lymph nodes and a gazillion places in bones including spine, hips, ribs and pelvis. Biopsy showed axillary lymph node tumor was ER-, PR-, HER2-.

Treatment: Armidex stopped, weekly carboplatinum/taxol for six months. Now on four week chemo break, to be followed by Xeloda.

How am I doing now?: Excellent results from the carbo/taxol. I'm NED!

I tire easily - my blood counts are still a bit low. Neuropathy in fingers and feet has lessened some but still bothersome. Anxiously awaiting the return of my eyelashes -- I think I see some today! I HATE not having eyelashes. I lost every hair on my head and body during CAF and carbo/taxol, but nothing bothers me like having no eyelashes. My arm swelling came down about 50% with physical therapy and compression
treatments. I now wrap it at night and wear compression sleeve and glove in day. I've never had much pain from the bone mets. What do I think causes cancer?: I suspect a virus is at the base of it, compounded by hormones, heredity, and environmental factors. What do I do to improve my life?: I indulge myself more than I used to. I eat chocolate, buy hard back books, spend lots of time on genealogy research. I try not to waste time on things that really don't matter -- like housework. :-) I spend as much time and energy as I can on my kids and pets. I try to consciously savor every moment.

*************************************************************************

I remember my then sixteen-year-old daughter's reaction back in 2002 when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. She cried for about an hour, then came into my bedroom with her usual sunny smile breaking through her tears. She said to me: "We're not going to let this knock us down. We're going to
see this as a fashion challenge!" That was the last thing I was thinking of at the time, but it was so Katie that it cheered me up. She went on to assure me she knew how to make a fake boob out of pantyhose and birdseed. (I should mention she's a theatre person.) Anyway, she took over the beauty aspect of my illness, and it made both of us feel a lot better.

Anne
-------
"I'm here for the party
And I ain't leavin' til they throw me out!"

On Tuesday, August 30, 2005, ANNE HENDERSON died after a courageous battle with breast cancer. Born in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada . She was awarded her A.A.S. in Early Childhood Education at Northern Virginia Community College and a B.A. in Early Childhood Education at Antioch University. Anne was the loving wife of David Henderson, mother of Jesse, Abby and Katie Henderson. Anne's love and devotion to her family was always her first priority even during her struggle with her illness. Anne served as the co-coordinator of the Religious Education Committee, Langley Hill Friends Meeting (Quakers). She was also very involved with animal rescue, serving as Virginia State Director, Yorkshire Terrier National Rescue, continuing to rescue Yorkies even as her illness progressed. Shortly before her death, Anne was chosen to receive their "Rescuer of the Year" award. As "Maxi", hundreds of internet friends and forums knew Anne as a kind and wonderful person. Many have e-mailed their condolences to the family and have expressed their love for Anne's kindness, insight, love and humor. She faced her illness with courage and grace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a tough one. Survivor? Maybe after enduring the latest ordeal with treatment, pain, I might feel like a survivor. Warrior - while going through the tough fight I suppose I could feel like the warrior. Victim? Don't know about that one - we're all victims of something or another, we all have our battles. All the other stuff, it's tough. I strive most to just feel like "Debbie". That person that my friends, family, coworkers, have defined me as over the years, ever changing even through cancer. I want to be that person that they respond to the same, no matter what. My friends tell me it's my "smile" they define me with most. Always telling me how great it is to see my "smile". So, I just want to be that person who can "smile" and be "Debbie". No matter what gets thrown my way!

Thanks - Debbie Wells (passed away 8-07)

The following is from Tammy Young's family:

"Since Tammy's passing yesterday, we've been reading your posts and would like you to know we find them comforting...weknow your support group was very important to her and she gave and received much encouragment by participating." We'd like to tell you about a memorial fund that has been set up by the Bevy of Hope Breast Cancer Foundation in Tammy's name....imagine that, Tammy has her own fund! Funds received will be used to help those unable
to afford their meds, wigs and other things that are needed to fight this dreaded disease. We know this cause was very close to Tammy's heart and her family pledges to "Keep the Faith"
Donations can be made by cheque to the following:
Bevy of Hope Breast Cancer Foundation In memory of Tammy Young 1891 Appleview Road Pickering, Ontario, Canada L1V 1T7
Because this was just set up today, an account number specifically for the "Tammy Young Fund" is not available yet. We will forward this we have it, but in the meantime if you add "In Memory of Tammy Young" it will be set aside for that account.
PS Private emails to Tammy's family can be sent to haughton@sympatico.ca  although we will still be reading the online posts.
THANKS EVERYONE!

This is a tough one. Survivor? Maybe after enduring the latest ordeal with treatment, pain, I might feel like a survivor. Warrior - while going through the tough fight I suppose I could feel like the warrior. Victim? Don't know about that one - we're all victims of something or another, we all have our battles. All the other stuff, it's tough. I strive most to just feel like "Debbie". That person that my friends, family, coworkers, have defined me as over the years, ever changing even through cancer. I want to be that person that they respond to the same,
no matter what. My friends tell me it's my "smile" they define me with most. Always telling me how great it is to see my "smile". So, I just want to be that person who can "smile" and be "Debbie". No matter what gets thrown my way!

Thanks - Debbie Wells (passed away 8-07)

It saddens me greatly to inform you of the passing of Deborah Marie Wells on August 7, 2005.

Debbie was admitted to the hospital on August 1, ostensibly to regain strength before starting her next round of chemo-therapy. She was in great pain and having difficulties keeping food down. Debbie's health worsened immediately and within just a few days it became clear that the cancer had gotten the better of her and that she would not be coming home. Her family and friends flocked to her side and the hospital nurses were so loving and caring. Debbie was never alone up to the end. They brought a bed in for me and I spent her final 3 days
beside her day and night. Our two sons were also with us when she passed. It was the saddest moment of my life - I lost the love of my
life and my best friend.

A great many of Debbie's friends and family turned out for her wake and funeral, a testament to how many people she had touched in her brief life and how much we all loved her. She will be greatly missed. In June, Debbie captained a team called the Busy Bees in a Relay for Life event in our home town. Deborah means busy bee in Hebrew and the bee became her personal symbol many years ago. On the second day of
the relay Debbie did a video interview with a reporter and I just saw the final cut of the interview yesterday. She was in a wheel chair having just taken her second Taxol treatment the day before. I know that she was exhausted and in pain both from the cancer in her bones and from the neuropathy caused by the Taxol, but you'd never know it from the interview. She seemed happy and so full of life and optimism as she described her 11 year fight with breast cancer. I was so very
proud of her.

Many of you on this support group know Debbie and have exchanged mail with her and you need to know how important you all were to her. She found great comfort in sharing both her and your stories. Debbie's legacy is her family. Her great cause was the cure of cancer and we will continue that fight in her name. Please join us where ever and how ever you can. This disease must not be allowed to continue
ravaging peoples lives.

After originally being diagnosed with breast cancer 5/94 (er/pr+ small tumor, 7 out of 19 positive lymph nodes) I thought I was doing pretty good!!!! Had 4 treatments Adriamycin, 3 treatments CMF (was scheduled for 8 but had 2 bad blood clot incidences so doc stopped the CMF), had radiation, and had ovaries removed rather than go on Tamoxifen (because of blood clot risks). Have kept up with all my docs recommendations on testing, etc. But, about 4 years ago my
onco doc moved out of state so my primary doc said she'd keep close watch on me and that I'd be fine. Had a funny mammo in May of this year so went back for a redo in November. Still had a funny spot on the right breast (where
original tumor was) so went in for a breast MRI. In the meantime, about the same week I was scheduled for the mammo in November I started to develop some pain
about where my bra touches me on the right side (front and back). I actually cursed myself thinking I had gained too much weight and that my bra was getting too tight!!! So, with the tight bra causing me to feel a burning sensation as well and also an itchiness I saw a doc for that. This doc thought shingles.
The doc did a spinal x-ray - said I had arthritis but couldn't see anything else and since I showed no rash he recommended I see another doc. Went a few days later to see another doc - he also thought shingles, still saw no rash but put me on an antihistamine for the itchiness (I complained more about the
pain than the itching!!!!!). After seeing the second doc I had to go see my surgeon for a follow-up after my breast MRI. She gave me the all clear on the mammo and breast MRI but I complained to her about my pain just the same and she
quickly ordered a chest x-ray, abdominal and pelvic CT and bone scan. You got it!!!!!!! The bone scan showed large hot spots on the ribs right side and several more hot spots up and down the spine from neck to tailbone. The worst
being at the ribs. Chest x-ray was fine, CT scan seemed ok too. I was rushed in to meet a new onco doc right away (next day). He was a fabulous guy - had not seen any of my tests though just got a phone report from my surgeon but
just the same he immediately put me on vioxx for the pain and femara for the cancer. He also set me up to meet a radiologist too that very same day - also a
great guy. The onco doc drew lots of blood that day and after leaving his office I got a call to have an MRI done too. Yesterday I had a brain, thoracic
and lumbar MRI (ugh - awful test). So, I await my next visit to the onco doc on 1/9. I'm hoping for the best in the bloods and MRI. I'm a bit apprehensive about knowing that I have bone mets that are so plentiful but am optimistic if that's all there is. I guess since the CT scan and chest x-ray seemed ok
that my fear is brain or bone marrow mets. I've talked to a few people that have encouraged me not to get too down about the bone mets - they've tried to encourage me that if it's only in the bones now it's not all gloom and doom. When I was told my cancer had spread my fears were horrible but those people
that I've talked to have encouraged me to believe I still have years ahead of me to fight off this disease. I sure hope that's the case - I have a young 2 year-old grandson that will need his Grandma there to help him with his homework
when he gets to school (I'm a school teacher). Debbie Wells

Hi all,

Debbie Wells here - Diagnosed May 1994 2cm lump right breast - 7 out or 19 nodes positive - did 4 cycles adriamycin, 3 CMF (until I had complications with blood clots so they stopped). Had radiation for the usual course. Had oophrectomy.

December 2003 - Mets diagnosed, spine, ribs. Femara and Aredia.

January 2005 - tumor markers rising - February 2005 - tumor markers double - changed end of February 2005 to Aromasin - CAT Scan showed possible spleen mets? March 2005 - bone scan and MRI - showed extensive spread to bones - skull, thoracic spine, ribs, lumbar spine. Am hoping
for the Aromasin to kick in soon. Also, since last Wednesday have had swollen lymph node in neck - possible mets? Will see onc doc next week. Possible cause of cancer - don't know. No family history so maybe
environmental?

Barbara wrote:
> Karon, I want to come to YOUR party.<<<<<<

Okay, Barbara, but be prepared because I plan to have a wake with an open casket. There will be a spring-loaded panel underneath my back in the coffin with a pressure pedal under the rug in front of the casket. So when someone steps up to the casket, I'll sit up and grin. That ought to get the party going.
Karon

I am not going to interject a humorous note with the sad news of the passing of my wife, Karon. Her battle with breast cancer was a long one with numerous ups and downs. In the end the cancer infiltrated her liver resulting in liver failure.
She gave every clinical trial a shot. Her last chemo was three weeks ago, Doxal. After that treatment she decided no more chemo and opted for quality of life. She knew then that the end was near.
Her death was peaceful and without struggle. I am grateful to have fullfilled the role of care giver and be able to see her out.
Karon asked not to mourned but to be remembered how she lived life. I can assure you she touched everyone who came in contact with her.
In parting I can only say keep up the fight and never lose hope.

Regards, Martin W. Haller

Judi (1966-2005)

Dear BCMets group:

This group has been instrumental to me since my sister
Judi was diagnosed 4 years ago at Stage IV, and I have
learned so much from you all and have gained strength
from each and every one of you. And so it is with
great sadness that I must tell you that my sister
Judi, 38 with 3 kids (11, 9 and 4) passed away Sunday
night. She had been at home in a hospital bed since
July 1 due to rapidly progressing brain and
leptomeningeal mets, and over the weeks had lost her
sight and much of her hearing, but she never lost her
beautiful personality.

Judi received visitors straight up until Saturday, and
each and every time she welcomed them and thanked them
"so much" for coming, and she apologized that she had
lost her sight and could not see them and that she
would probably not be great company. Over the weeks,
we had also been taking her by ambulance to have fluid
drained through her ommaya resevoir to relieve
pressure on her brain, and she always apologized to
the EMTs who had to carry her for being so heavy,
because she had gained weight from the decadron. That
was the type of person she was, never once thinking of
herself, always, always thinking of others.

She was not ready to go, and we were not ready to let
her go, but it was difficult to watch her suffer over
the last 4 years, and particularly over the last 4
weeks. As she passed, she was surrounded by family who
loved her more than words could ever say.

The world has lost a true ambassador of love and
goodness, and I have lost my only sister and the
sweetest person in my life for 36 years.

I thank you all again for letting me share these last
4 years with you, and I wish for all of you the very
best.

Doug,
Brother to Judi (1966-2005)

(Wed Apr 13 2005, to an online support group friend)

Yes, I am with you with this one...I was diagnosed at 23 weeks pregnant, had chemo, then c-section, then mastectomy and the more chemo and then radiation. I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl (with more hair than me) at 36 weeks. She is now a bubbly, vivacious 2 year old. I was initially diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer (always Stage IIIb at diagnosis) but I now have wide spread mets since last July. I would gladly talk to you over the phone if you would like. Email me privately for contact details. If you prefer something a little less personal, there is an excellent group online called www.pregnantwithcancer.org. There is also a wonderful doctor called Elyce Cardonick who specialzes in the very issue and I am part of her registry. Pregnant with Cancer put me in touch with her when I had questions....ahh...so many questions. I am thinking about you and I am here for you if you need me.

Yours, Juliet

************************************************ 

From: Juliet Date: Mon Apr 04 2005

I am loving this conversation - makes me giggle everyday. If reconstruction of Barbie's boob is too complicated for everyone to achieve, you could try this approach... Your Barbie has IBC (inflammatory breast cancer) in which case reconstruction is a controversial issue. Most oncs do not recommend it at all. At the very least they ask you to wait for 2 years post end of treatment. So Barbie gets a MRM scar permanently - lucky girl.

Just a thought - : )

Juliet

****************************************************

From: Juliet Jones Date: Wed Apr 20 2005

Hi Everyone,

Yes, to confirm, as some of you have noticed, I have been disagnosed with mets in my meningies (the membranes that line the brain and spinal column) My symptoms were/still are severe headaches, backpain, vomiting, neckache and lately visual disturbances. All my back and head MRI scans were clear but I don't really get headaches so knew something was horribly wrong before the diagnostic lumbar puncture came back. Once diagnosed, the chemo was stopped and whole brain radiation commenced. The team made me aware that this is a serious and difficult to ttreat. Yes, depressing but I would rather they were honest. I am holding up OK. Last week the headaches and vomiting got so bad, I was admitted straight
into the main hospital and discharged 4 days later. They inserted a shunt into my brain to relieve the increased pressure/ease the confusion and vomiting. Seems to be somewhat better now...I am back on WBR. The sooner
that is completed to soon I can get back on chemo (A&C that was working!) . I anyone has any advice abut this....please let me know. I am fortunate to have a neuro-oncologist who has been very honest with about this condition. He has made me aware that this condidion is "hard to treat" and that from this point onwards I have as best about one year left. Tough to hear but glad he has been so honest with me.

Speak to you all very very soon,

Juliet x

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From: Juliet Jones Date: Fri Apr 22 2005

Yes you are right once the rads are done they have various plans up their
sleeves - methotrexate in high doeses is the main one they have mentioned to
me thus far.

I'll keep you all posted....

Juliet xx

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Juliet Jones died lat night after fighting IBC for 3 years; she leaves behind Katie our 2 ½ year old daughter and myself, Richard her husband. I know she used these support groups a lot as they were a valuable tool so wanted to let the community know.
Good luck to the rest of you out there fighting this difficult disease but we have lost another soldier.
All the best,
Richard.

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JONES-Juliet Nicola. 35, died on Friday, June 3, 2005, after a three year bout with cancer. She was born in Amersham, England, in 1969, to Richard
and Dorothy Luke. She is survived by her daughter Katherine Juliet, sister Rebecca, mother Dorothy, father Richard and husband Richard. We will all miss her dearly. The cremation will be held at Ferncliff Crematorium in Hartsdale, on June 8, 2005, at 11 am. In lieu of flowers,
donations may be made in honor of Juliet to IBCResearch
(http://www.ibcresearch.org/donations/).
Published in the New York Times on 6/6/2005.
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Juliet, the IBCMETS.ORG brothers and sisters will miss you so very much !!!!!

When the next baby girl is born, there will be a pink ribbon, Hopefully, this will be HER LAST PINK RIBBON ????

-Pink Stinks,

Susan Andrews

(posted with family's permission)

Shelly L. Slick, 37
SEPT. 23, 1967-MARCH 12, 2005
Shelly Lynn Slick, 37, of Hagerstown, succumbed to her battle with breast cancer early Saturday morning, March 12, 2005, at Washington County Hospital, Hagerstown.
Born Sept. 23, 1967, in Hagerstown, Md., she is survived by her father, Edward E. Slick Jr. and Bonnie Hersh, and her mother, Nancy L. (Carr) Hansen and Michael Hansen, all of Hagerstown.
Shelly graduated from South Hagerstown High School Class of 1985, and later graduated from Award Beauty School, Hagerstown.
She lived in Key West, Fla., and Hagerstown, where she was a food and beverage manager for several hotels for more than 15 years, and a hairstylist for many years.
Shelly was a member of St. Paul's Lutheran Church, Funkstown.
In addition to her parents and stepparents, Shelly is also survived by a maternal grandmother, Mary Carr; paternal stepgrandmother, Betty Slick; one son, Alexander E. Slick McAleer; one brother, Michael E. Slick; one stepsister, Tammy Hersh; two stepbrothers, Robbie Hansen, all of Hagerstown, and Mick Hersh of Smithsburg; and several aunts,
uncles and cousins.
The funeral service will be 1 p.m. Wednesday, March 16, 2005, at Gerald N. Minnich Funeral Home, 305 N. Potomac St., Hagerstown. The Rev. Darrell L. Layman will officiate. Burial will be in Rest Haven Cemetery, Hagerstown.
The visitation will be 6 to 8 p.m. Tuesday, March 15, 2005, at the funeral home.
The family suggests memorial contributions may be made to Hospice of Washington County, 1500 Pennsylvania Ave., Hagerstown, MD 21742; Breast Cancer Awareness of Cumberland Valley, 324 E. Antietam St., Suite 307 B,
Hagerstown, MD 21740; Shirley B. Robison Memorial Fund, c/o Jessie Kretzer, 10933 Hartle Drive, Hagerstown, MD 21742; or to Making Memories Breast Cancer Foundation, 232 S. Cole Ave., Molalla, OR 97038.
The Gerald N. Minnich Funeral Home, Bryan K. Kenworthy P.A., 305 N. Potomac St., Hagerstown has been entrusted with the arrangements.